


ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!

by idolrapper



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Friends, Emotional Constipation, Flashbacks, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-18 20:51:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17588183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idolrapper/pseuds/idolrapper
Summary: “You’ve obviously thought about it if it’s on your list,” Jaemin says, stirring his bibimbap after squeezing an obscene amount of gochujang on it. “Which by the way is a worryingly short list. Like you’d take a bullet for Donghyuck? You’d sit through his gazillionth rewatch of the Twilight series? But you wouldn’t fuck him?”(Or: Donghyuck asks his best friend Mark to take his virginity. Feelings ensue.)





	ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!

**Author's Note:**

> this is it. my magnum opus of markhyucks. jk but this isn't really my usual writing style (it's a lot denser, for one) and i'm not sure if i like it much but i hope this change works for everyone? this fic is 90% humour and friendship drama 10% spiciness and was SO fun to write so i really hope you can all feel the love i poured into it T__T ♡

It isn’t dramatic, Donghyuck asking. He doesn’t make a gigantic fuss like he does when he asks Mark to bring him a bowl of rabokki from the Engineering cafeteria because he _knows_ Mark finishes class at noon ( _hey / u know what i want / that’s right / RABOKKI BITCH / hyung i know ur reading these / pleaaaaaaaaaase / do u want me to die of starvation / u’ll have to come to my funeral and read that eulogy i made u write in middle school BUT IT WON’T MEAN ANYTHING BC UR THE ONE WHO KILLED ME AND U’LL HAVE TO LOOK MY MOTHER IN THE EYE AND -_ Mark stops reading here. He already has the rabokki in a plastic bag) or when he tries to convince Mark to go to noraebang with him in the middle of the night (Mark cracks open his window, bleary-eyed and still certain he’s dreaming when he looks down at Donghyuck two stories down. He’s strumming Jeno’s pink ukulele, singing, “ _Oh, Maaaark, are you lonesome tonight? Do you miss me tonight? Are you sorry we drifted apart?_ I can keep going, ooooor we can continue this somewhere more,” Donghyuck winks, “ _private_.”)

No, Donghyuck just turns over in Mark’s bed, his abandoned Korean Court Music notes still at the foot of the mattress, drags Mark’s arm over him in the process, presses his mouth to the inside of Mark’s wrist, and says, languidly, “I want you take my virginity, hyung.”

Mark barely stops himself from wheezing. He cracks an eye open, twisting his neck sideways to see if his roommate Jungwoo caught any of that. Jungwoo has his earphones in, and Mark can hear the faint sound of the True Crime podcast he listens to every night (“Like a fucking psycho,” Donghyuck once said, to which Mark replied, “That’s mean, Donghyuck,” to which Donghyuck replied, “You’re right, I take it back. Listening to Beethoven before you sleep is pretty fucked up. It’s people like you who have the makings of a serial killer.”) 

He turns back to Donghyuck, wondering if he can feel Mark’s pulse going haywire beneath his lips. Mark murmurs into Donghyuck’s hair, “Uh, okay?” and Donghyuck hums, before his breathing evens.

 

 

 

If someone (Jaemin) were to ask Mark what the craziest thing he’s ever done for Donghyuck was (“Running all the way from Engineering to the dorms just because Donghyuck said he wasn’t feeling well?” Jaemin says tartly, “I mean, you could’ve just caught the shuttle bus, hyung.”) Mark would say something like: _I eat the cucumbers in his salad because he doesn’t like them_ or _one time he dared me to go skateboarding down the street and you know how hilly Seoul can get, yeah, I almost freaking died_. There isn’t a whole lot he wouldn’t do for or with Donghyuck but in that teeny tiny speck labelled Things I Won’t Do For or With Lee Donghyuck is: 1) blood oath (“Mooooom, Mark just passed out!” Donghyuck yells, preteen voice going so high it wakes Mark up from his blood-induced dizzy spell. It wasn’t even _his_ blood) 2) bungee jumping (Mark hates blood _and_ heights), and 3) sex. 

“You’ve obviously thought about it if it’s on your list,” Jaemin says, stirring his bibimbap after squeezing an obscene amount of gochujang on it. “Which by the way is a worryingly short list. Like you’d take a bullet for Donghyuck? You’d sit through his gazillionth rewatch of the Twilight series? But you wouldn’t fuck him?” 

“I--” Mark stutters, tossing the napkin he’d used to blow his nose at Jaemin, and Jaemin only just Karate punches it away from his bibimbap, shooting Mark a withering look. “Don’t put it like _that_. We’re in public.” 

Jaemin just rolls his eyes and picks up his phone. 

**from: Na Jaemin**  
**to: Mark Lee**  
>u can’t deny it hyung  
>u’ve thought about fucking donghyuck before

Mark glares at Jaemin, but Jaemin’s still typing away, a gleeful smirk on his face.

 **from: Na Jaemin**  
**to: Mark Lee**  
>u wanna do the dirty with him  
>u wanna paint his picket fence white  
>u wanna use ur telescope to explore his black hole  
>u wanna tickle his tummy from the inside  
>U WANNA MAKE LUUUUUUUUURVE

“How are you typing that fast,” Mark snaps, shifting in his seat. 

Jaemin looks up, phone dropping into his bibimbap. “Oh my God, are you getting turned on?”

“ _No_ ,” Mark retorts quickly, sliding further under the table. “Why would I be turned on by your stupid euphemisms? These cafeteria seats are uncomfortable.”

Jaemin grins even wider, fishing his phone out of his bowl. Half of it is dripping with gochujang and Jaemin delicately wipes it clean with a napkin he steals from Mark’s tray. “You know what, hyung?” he says, “I think you should say yes.”

 

 

 

Apparently Mark doesn’t need to because Donghyuck remembers that he’d already said yes. “Nothing goes over your head, does it?” Mark says bitterly when Donghyuck bounds into Mark’s room and sprawls himself out on Mark’s bed, in a pair of the tiniest shorts Mark has ever seen.

“Nope,” Donghyuck says, rolling onto his stomach and cupping his face in his hands as he smiles at Mark.

“I meant that as an insult,” Mark says, nearly breaking his pen he clicks it so hard.

“I know,” Donghyuck replies, “So, do you want a piece of this ass or what?”

Mark huffs, spinning his chair back to face his desk so he doesn’t stare at Donghyuck’s ass for too long that he decides _yeah, he does want a piece of it_. That would be a Bad Idea.

It’s not like Mark is that much more experienced than Donghyuck. He lost his virginity to a girl called Kim Jungeun whom he met at an away game in Busan, at the hotel the baseball team were staying at. In retrospect, it wasn’t _amazing_ but Mark was in love with her for a month after, sending embarrassingly sappy/horny letters to the address she gave him (which, also in retrospect, was completely bogus. Why did Mark believe her when she said she lived at 76-9 Bik Baeng Street? He just thought Busan _really_ liked Big Bang?) He showed a picture of her to Donghyuck after school one day and Donghyuck took one look at her long blonde hair and then at the curly blonde Mark had at the time and said, “It’s kinda weird you fucked someone who could be your twin sister.” Mark was pretty turned off after that. 

The second time Mark had sex was with this exchange student from Hong Kong called Lucas Wong. Mark had signed up for the SNU buddy program in his freshman year and he was assigned to Lucas in Group 5. Mark was up at Engineering too much to be a good buddy but he figures letting Lucas fuck him against the bathroom wall at their November MT made up for all the times he bailed on taking Lucas to Namsan Tower or Gyeongbokgung or even just the arcade at SNU Station. “We should’ve been doing this sooner,” Lucas had murmured into Mark’s hair, his breath smelling of blueberry soju. “Fucked too many girls at clubs when I could’ve just been fucking you.”

Mark nodded, eyeing the clogged toilet behind Lucas, and as he slid down the horrifyingly wet wall, Lucas hoisted him up again, muscles flexing and cock sliding into Mark just, “ _Oh._ ” Okay, so maybe he also regretted not doing this sooner, especially when Donghyuck later perused the Facebook album for the trip and said, “What the hell, hyung? Your buddy is _hot_.” But they’d kissed sweetly afterwards and Lucas gave him his number and they still text each other Soundcloud recs occasionally so Mark doesn’t count it as a total loss.

The third time Mark got laid was, well - he tries not to think about it too much because he feels like he might accidentally summon Donghyuck’s wrath just by _thinking_ Jeno’s name three times too many. Lee Jeno is Donghyuck’s roommate and arguably Donghyuck’s closest friend after Mark, and he’d ridden Mark on his bed after they’d all gone to a Nakseongdae pub together last year and Donghyuck got so wasted he just passed out in Jaemin’s room afterwards. 

“We don’t talk about this after,” Jeno had sighed into Mark’s mouth, pushing down onto Mark’s cock in a way that made Mark gasp and his heart ache just a little. He’d glanced over at Donghyuck’s empty bed, the MJ poster and polaroids from their Yulpo Beach camping trip in Grade 10 stuck up on the wall, and he shoved Jeno down onto the mattress and drilled him so hard Jeno nearly got fabric burn from his cheap Daiso sheets. And they never talked about it after. 

“Why do you want me to take your virginity anyway?” Mark asks, “Wouldn’t that be like, gross for you? You don’t want your first time to be with someone special?”

“I’m twenty now, hyung, I’m totally over that bullcrap,” Donghyuck scoffs, face-planting onto Mark’s quilt to hide the sad little frown between his eyebrows that Mark caught anyway. “Just wanna get it over with, but I don’t want it to be with a total stranger.”

“Can’t you ask Jeno? Jaemin?” Mark tries, “ _Renjun_?”

Donghyuck pushes himself up into a kneeling position, holding out his palm. He taps each finger as he explains, “Jeno is even more of a bottom than me, so no,” (Okay, that Mark can confirm), “Jaemin’s hot but I can’t screw a wind major. It’s practically sacrilegious. Also, we’re not that compatible.” 

“Eh? You and Jaemin talk about banging each other all the time? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about anything else,” Mark says, a shudder going through him as he recalls Donghyuck and Jaemin loudly talking about spanking in the library last week. Mark didn’t even _know_ Donghyuck was a virgin he talks about sex that much. But then again, he isn’t surprised. Donghyuck always has been more bark than bite. 

“Yeah, and we’ve also made out like, fifty times but that doesn’t mean I want him to take my virginity. It’s called _platonic flirting_ , hyung, it’s how we bond,” Donghyuck says casually like he didn’t drop the biggest bomb of Mark’s life on him just then. Donghyuck has kissed Jaemin? Na Jaemin? Arguably Mark’s closest friend after Donghyuck? Turns out Mark’s not the only traitor in this - 

Donghyuck snaps his fingers in front of Mark’s face, having gotten off the bed and perched himself on the desk somewhere in the span of ten seconds. 

“And Renjun?” Mark grumbles up at him.

“Renjun would _literally_ punch me if I asked him to fuck me,” Donghyuck says.

“So? He might still do it?” Mark says. Donghyuck’s bare thighs are entirely too close to his face right now, and Mark can see goosebumps start to raise along the skin as Mark’s breath travels across it.

“I’m not really into that,” Donghyuck hums, and Mark can feel him in his periphery even as he stares resolutely at his laptop screen, Jaemin’s Kakao chat in the corner firing away dozens of Apeach stickers at him. 

“But why me?” Mark asks. 

Donghyuck inches closer, lifting up Mark’s chin with gentle fingers. “Because you’re the person I trust the most in this world.”

“I am?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck breathes, “Plus, you’d do anything for me. Wouldn’t you, hyung?”

Mark stares at Donghyuck’s heart-shaped pout, and then back up at his eyes, filled with mirth and something a little darker. “Yeah, I think I would,” he says.

 

 

 

“I gotta make it special for him,” Mark’s saying, taking out his Thermodynamics notes from his backpack and placing them on the table at Tom N Toms. Jaemin is already halfway through the Franken-Americano he bought five minutes ago and Mark worries for his stomach lining more and more everyday. “Romantic, I guess? But I don’t know how to make it romantic when we’re not, y’know - in love.”

“Oh, you aren’t?” Jaemin raises an eyebrow, mouth pursed around his straw. At Mark’s lack of response, he continues, “You just need to create ambience. Candles, rose petals, that kinda thing.”

Mark titles a blank page _Popping Donghyuck’s Cherry!!!_ and scribbles Jaemin’s suggestions down. “Got it. Anything else?” 

“Lube? Condoms?” Jaemin adds. 

“Of course,” Mark says seriously, “That’s it?”

Jaemin eyes the table next to them, where a couple are picking out a Snow filter for their selca. He leans in close, whispering, “Donghyuck really wants to be tied up, if you catch my drift.”

“Uh huh,” Mark says, adding _Get rope! (Note: just in case, might be too much for first time)_ to his list.

 

 

 

When Mark and Donghyuck were sixteen and fifteen respectively, they did a group project together on the female reproductive system. Donghyuck asked Mark if he’d ever seen a naked body from where he was laying on Mark’s bed, as Mark painstakingly coloured in the bubble font of their poster title, _YOU MAKE MY OVARIES EXPLODE_ (surprisingly, Mark’s idea). 

“Besides my own?” Mark replied, tilting his head, wondering if he should’ve gone with pink marker instead of red. It felt a little on the nose. 

“Duh,” Donghyuck said, managing to raise his eyebrow at Mark even though he was upside-down. He was meant to be cutting out tiny cartoon sperms they’d printed on Mark’s brother’s computer (and later, they would find, left open on his browser, leading to an awkward family dinner that night over why Mark and Donghyuck - okay, Donghyuck, really - had Googled ‘penis tadpoles’), but the scissors were left abandoned next to him.

“I mean,” Mark started, feeling himself start to flush red. “I’ve watched porn. And one time I walked in my parents doing it, and before you say anything, I’m _not_ talking about it.” Donghyuck’s head dropped back down. “It’s completely suppressed. No memory of it at all. In fact I don’t even know what my parents look like. I’m an orphan.”

Donghyuck’s nose scrunched up as he laughed. “You’re weird, hyung.”

“Thanks,” Mark said, returning his attention to the poster. “But to answer your question, no, I haven’t. Yet.”

“Would you want to--” Donghyuck cut himself off. “Ah, never mind. Forgot what I wanted to say.”

Mark had just hummed, changing the subject to how terribly he’d done in his English test yesterday despite being _Canadian_. All this is to say: the conversation is now coming back to Mark in full force as he watches Donghyuck start to shrug off his denim jacket, bottom lip sucked between his teeth.

“You were gonna ask if I wanted to see you naked,” Mark blurts out. 

“What?” Donghyuck says, stumbling as his arms get caught in his sleeves. He nearly knocks into the candles Mark had lit along the dresser (apple pie scented, Donghyuck’s favourite) and Mark jumps up from the bed to catch him. Jungwoo would _kill_ him if he finds out Mark had sexiled him only to set their dormitory on fire. 

“In high school,” Mark explains, helping Donghyuck out of his jacket. It drops to the floor but Mark’s still holding onto Donghyuck, their bodies a mere centimetre away from touching. “Remember that poster we did? On ovaries?”

Donghyuck nods, and he puts so much effort into not making eye contact with Mark that he ends up staring at Mark’s mouth and something about his gaze - it’s, well, it’s heated. A chemical thing. 

Mark soldiers on, a smirk tugging at his mouth the shyer Donghyuck seems to become. Freaking cute, he thinks. “You asked if I’d ever seen someone naked. And then you went to ask me another question, and you--”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck breathes, “That’s what I was gonna ask. But it wasn’t the right time then. I wasn’t as hot as I am now. So, Mark Lee--”

“ _Hyung_.”

“ _Hyung_ ,” Donghyuck adds, rolling his eyes. His face moves closer to Mark’s, and Mark can taste his minty breath like he’d chewed the gum himself. “Do you wanna see me naked?” 

“Yes,” Mark replies. In the morning his honesty will be remembered as nothing but the heat of the moment. Playing the part for the sake of Donghyuck’s cause. When Mark recounts the night to Jaemin over coffee, Jaemin will grin and say, _you’re like the Mother Teresa of sex, hyung_ and Mark will shove him off his seat. 

“Before you have your way with me,” Donghyuck says, pulling back as Mark starts to chase his lips. He smiles, thumb rubbing over the shorn hairs at Mark’s nape. “I need to come clean. I got a 90% in that English test you bombed.”

“Wha--” Mark’s mouth falls open stupidly. “Why didn’t you lord it over me then?”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “I mean, I _would’ve_. But I didn’t want you to feel bad, I know you were really cut up over that test. Made you feel like you were losing a part of your home.”

Oh. Oh, that’s overwhelming. Mark blinks, plasters on a grin, and says, “That’s it, babe, this is gonna be the best first time in the history of first times.”

Donghyuck laughs, flicking Mark’s forehead. “Don’t get cocky, big head.”

“I’m being serious,” Mark says. He gently shoves Donghyuck onto his bed, their legs tangling together as Mark props himself up on his elbow, other hand cupping Donghyuck’s face. “Besides what else do you have to compare it to?”

“Oh, that makes me feel better,” Donghyuck says, nuzzling against Mark’s palm. He presses a kiss to the centre, wrapping both his hands around Mark’s wrist. “Don’t half-ass this, okay? It’s important to me.”

Mark nods, swallowing down whatever teasing retort he’d been about to say. “I know I’ve asked a million times,” he says, “But are you sure you want to do this, Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck doesn’t answer, opting to just drag his tongue up Mark’s palm. Embarrassingly, Mark feels all the blood in his body start to rush south despite the fact that Donghyuck has done that a million times. But he’s never licked along Mark’s middle finger and sucked it into his mouth before. Mark shifts, trying to lift himself so Donghyuck won’t feel his semi digging into his hip but Donghyuck just pushes him back down with a heel to his lower back. 

“You’re good at this,” Mark says distantly. He’s used to putting up boundaries with Donghyuck, not letting him go too far, but he’d forgotten that he’s meant to be _fucking_ Donghyuck tonight. That wall he built, when he was fourteen and ran all the way home when the bottle landed on Donghyuck at Kim Yerim’s birthday party? It comes crashing down as Mark grinds his hips down and wriggles a second finger past Donghyuck’s lips. He watches as Donghyuck starts to suck in earnest, cheeks hollowing and eyes fluttering shut, and somehow finds it in himself to say, “Wanna see your mouth around my cock, Hyuckkie.”

Donghyuck _whimpers_. He pulls Mark’s hand out of his mouth, teeth grazing along the saliva-drenched skin, and says, “Okay, but don’t move, I have a really awful gag reflex.”

“I know that,” Mark says as he starts to push down his jeans. “Ten marshmallows, remember?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck grumbles, “I can’t believe you got to twenty five. You didn’t need to rub into my face like that.”

“Hey, Donghyuck.” Mark’s fingers pause at the waistband of his boxers. Internally he’s panicking at how Donghyuck’s eyes are trained on his erection, with the kind of hunger one would have after starving for a week and being presented with a chicken drumstick. Or maybe a hot dog? Whatever, that’s not the point. Mark has to get them back on track before he does something stupid like stuff his dick down Donghyuck’s throat, over and over and over - “Shouldn’t we kiss first?!”

“Oh,” Donghyuck says, dragging his gaze back up to Mark’s face. “Right. I forgot about that. We don’t have to if it makes it too - I don’t know - real?”

“No, it’s your first time,” Mark says, “We should definitely kiss. Take it slow, y’know.”

“Slow,” Donghyuck repeats, inching forward, a hand curling around Mark’s neck. 

And just as their lips are about to touch, so close Mark can feel a zap go through him, the blaring of an alarm interrupts them. 

Mark moves in again but it’s quickly followed by Kim Doyoung banging on their door, shouting, “It’s a real fire! Get out of your rooms!” 

Mark hurriedly pulls his jeans back on as Donghyuck has the foresight to blow out the candles before they bundle out of the room, Donghyuck’s hand squeezed tightly in Mark’s, and to the meeting point outside. The fire already seems to be contained, smoke billowing out of one window. One window that Mark knows belongs to one Na Jaemin, who is standing next to Jeno, wearing nothing but his Ryan-printed boxers, a dozen hickeys scattered across his chest and the most miserable expression Mark has ever seen. 

“I told you not to use the leftover candles,” Mark says as they reach Jaemin and Jeno. “Let me guess, the bed frame hit your wall too hard and it shook your bedside table and a candle fell.”

“No, my gigantic dick knocked one over,” Jaemin deadpans, lip curling up in annoyance. “Fuck you, hyung, I was trying to be romantic too.”

“Romantic? You? With _who_?” Mark says incredulously, just like he had this morning when Jaemin had shoved a few candles in his pocket. He hadn’t actually believed him then. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Jaemin sniffs, looking up at the blackened outline of his dorm room. “But clearly our chemistry was so electric that it set our dormitory on fire.”

“Thanks a fucking lot, Jaemin. At least you got your clothes off, I didn’t even get _kissed_ ,” Donghyuck grumbles, letting go of Mark’s hand to attach himself to Jeno. He sniffs Jeno’s neck, remarking, “Hey, where’d you get apple pie from? I’ve been looking all over campus, you traitor.”

“Uh,” Jeno says, burrowing himself into his hoodie. “This cafe at Engineering?”

“Oh.” After a pause, Donghyuck huffs, “Well, I hate hiking up there. Mark hyung can get it for me tomorrow.”

 

 

 

There’s this story Donghyuck is fond of telling, about how he went missing for eight hours at the age of ten. Back then, Mark’s family had just moved to Seoul from Vancouver and Mark knew Donghyuck as the kid who made fun of the way he pronounced _businessman_ (when he was asked what his father did), _watermelon_ (when he was asked what his favourite food was) and _oppa_ (when it automatically slipped it out his mouth as he asked Jung Jaehyun, captain of the baseball team, about tryouts), _but_ barked at anyone who laughed at what he said (which was, the third time, “Your accent’s dumb. Wanna share my kimchi jjigae, nerd?”). 

Mark heard about the ordeal from his Math deskmate, Kim Jiwoo, who wrote him a long-winded note detailing how Donghyuck had caught the wrong bus home, ended up in Daegu, got mugged by three men but somehow escaped, busked outside a Megabox until he gathered enough cash to catch a train back to Seoul and then walked through the front door of his apartment, smiling wide and without a single scratch on him. 

Not that Mark ever believed it, not until Donghyuck brought it up again two years later, this time with a few inconsequential revisions: he wasn’t mugged by three men but an ahjumma who chased him out of her bakery when he tried to pinch a loaf of chocolate bread for the journey home, and it wasn’t a Megabox he busked outside of but Lotte Cinema and he sung _Smooth Criminal_ acapella. 

The way Donghyuck tells it is like this: “Wow, I guess going to Jaehyun’s birthday party is gonna be more dangerous than almost _dying_ in downtown Daegu,” and, “Incredible how Mark gets seconds of _my_ favourite mandoo like I wasn’t the one nearly abandoned forever when I was a mere ten years old. It really be your own, huh?” and his personal favourite, “Mark hyung, you have to do exactly what I say because once I nearly became a homeless orphan in Daegu and then we never would’ve become friends.”

“Maybe you should’ve,” Mark shoots back, sniffling into his wad of tissues. Currently it’s Day 2 AFSWD (After Failed Sex with Donghyuck) and Mark is bedridden, having come down with an awful cold that Jungwoo had brought into their room after he went skiing with his boyfriend Taeil. “Then I wouldn’t have to be your glorified butler.”

Donghyuck waves his hand dismissively, bringing a container of samgyetang over from the microwave and sitting next to Mark. “But doesn’t that sound cool? You’d be the Alfred to my Batman,” he claims, stirring the soup before blowing air onto a spoonful. “I’ve actually given it a lot of thought. If I did live on the streets of Daegu, I would learn to survive, and then I’d eventually find my way back to Seoul to discover that my family tragically died in a fire and left me millions. I’d fall into a chaebol lifestyle with men and women falling at my feet, but my dangerous past taught me to fight for justice, so that’s how I become Batman. And I’d hire you, not realising you were the same Mark I knew as a kid, but you’d know, and you would help me. See, we’d find each other again. No matter what universe, I think we would.”

“What the fuck,” Mark breathes, mouth falling open. 

“Now shut up and eat your samgyetang,” Donghyuck says, shoving the spoon between Mark’s lips. 

“You know what I’ve always taken out of that story?” Mark says after Donghyuck’s container is nearly empty five minutes later, a feat considering how Donghyuck won’t let him feed himself and insists on doing Choo Choo Train with every mouthful. 

“What?” Donghyuck says absently, scraping a soggy piece of chicken at the corner of the container.

“That you’re independent. Self-sufficient? I call up my parents if I get a headache or have to fill out a form, but you - you - if you put your mind to it you can take care of yourself no matter what,” Mark explains. He’s slurring his words, and the room feels like it’s getting hotter by the second, but Mark soldiers on, not caring how any of this might sound to Donghyuck. He’s always needed to say it. “You don’t need me. Why do you always act like you need me?”

Donghyuck looks down, and his lips thin with no reply as he pushes the piece of chicken into Mark’s mouth.

“So you should go out there and use those street smarts - your Hyuck charm! - and find someone who you truly, sincerely like to be your first time,” Mark rambles passionately, stringy chicken between his teeth. It’s funny, when he looks back, how in his sickly delirium he thought he was doing the right thing. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says, after a moment of tilting his head at Mark curiously, eyes ever so slightly narrowed. “I guess you’re right.”

 

 

 

Mark gets better on Day 4 AFSWD, with Donghyuck wordlessly nursing him back to health. No, “See, don’t say I never do anything for you,” or “You owe me ten Reese’s Peanut Butter Bars and a cuddle sesh for all that labour.” Just a stoic Donghyuck, a confused Mark, and sile--Jungwoo’s True Crime podcast. 

“Donghyuck’s mad at me,” Mark sighs around the straw of his watermelon juice, which is actually not watermelon but some kind of pink tropical blend, which makes him even sadder.

“What’s new,” Jaemin mutters under his breath, before placing a hand on Mark’s forearm, eyebrows pinching together in dramatic worry. “So, tell daddy, what did you do this time?”

“I complimented him!” Mark says, ignoring his urge to dry retch because it’ll only make Jaemin more insufferable. He’s learnt that the hard way. “I told him he’s really good at being independent and that he doesn’t actually need me to do anything for him.”

Jaemin raises an eyebrow, and says, “Go on, son, I know you’re not done.” 

Mark lowers his voice, acquiescing, “Then I said he didn’t need _me_ to fuck him when he could so easily find someone he’d actually want.”

Jaemin drops his face into his hands. After silently screaming for a minute, he sits up again, wearing a grin so manic that Mark blinks, then glances down at Jaemin’s coffee, and back up again. “You’re coming clubbing with us tonight,” Jaemin says. 

Us meaning him, Jeno, Donghyuck and maybe Renjun, if he was in the mood (the mood being 1) sexually frustrated by his mute?-but-hot roommate Sicheng more so than usual 2) handing in a big assignment three days late, or 3) promised 2AM Monster Pizza with a side of Deep & Meaningful conversation). 

“Nooo,” Mark protests, “You know I don’t like to go.” The last time he got drunk with those three, minus Renjun who was still finishing his assignment and staring longingly at Sicheng’s face, he’d screwed [redacted]. “Plus, I just got over a fever! Would you force my frail old man body to wait in the cold for an hour to get into NB1 - or was it NB2 you like better?”

“Yeah I would,” Jaemin says heartlessly, “I know that senile body of yours has moves!” In English, he adds, “You could get laid!”

Mark shakes his head. “How do you even kn--”

“But you haven’t heard the best part,” Jaemin goes on, “You won’t get laid with just _anybody_. You’re gonna see Donghyuck out there on the dancefloor and realise you wanna fuck him six ways to Sunday, not as a favour but because you’re genuinely attracted to him.”

“Uh, untrue,” Mark says, hoping Jaemin will think he’s addressing ‘you’re genuinely attracted to him’ and not just ‘you wanna fuck him six ways to Sunday.’ What he _wants_ to do is make sweet, gentle love to Donghyuck on the rooftop of Donghyuck’s childhood apartment where they spent so many a night stargazing in their last year of middle school, when Donghyuck was obsessed with astronomy. And after they do that, _then_ he’d rail Donghyuck against a wall or somewhere equally obscene. Maybe a floor? Like a dirty bathroom floor?

“You’re coming,” Jaemin says.

“No.”

Jaemin takes a deep breath, blowing up his cheeks and pursing his lips in a pout -

“ _Fine_.”

 

 

 

The first time Mark went clubbing was actually the first time he met Jaemin. Mark and Donghyuck had been waiting in line in Itaewon, Donghyuck chugging down half a bottle of fresh soju in one go and Mark staring nervously at his shoes, wondering how Donghyuck had managed to convince him to go here (it was easy, really, he’d just started fake-moaning as he jumped on Mark’s squeaky bed and Mark being the puny freshman that he was then was _really_ terrified of his RA Lee Taeyong. At least until he walked in on Taeyong sobbing over The Notebook - the _novel_ \- in the common room and he realised it was just Taeyong’s Resting Bitch Face). 

When they went in, Donghyuck immediately dragged Mark onto the dance floor, swivelling his hips to _Shape Of You_ in a way that made Mark gulp. Jaemin had come up behind Mark, and squeezed his hands around Mark’s hips, slowly grinding against Mark’s ass. Mark twisted around to get a look at him, and his expression must have been sour because Jaemin’s eyes had widened and he backed away, blurting out, “I’m sorry, I saw you in Homo Hill and assumed you were into men, please don’t punch me!” at the same time Mark exclaimed, “Wait, don’t you live in the room opposite mine?” Donghyuck tilted around Mark to squint at Jaemin’s face and said, “Oh God, it’s that annoying daegeum player!”

It was the start of a beautiful friendship.

A beautiful friendship that Mark is now considering ending because Jaemin left for the bathroom 15 minutes ago and still hasn’t returned, leaving Mark all alone on a bar stool, nursing a rum & coke and watching Donghyuck dancing with this guy who is _way_ taller than Mark. The guy dips down to say something in Donghyuck’s ear and Donghyuck throws his head back and laughs. He looks radiant as he places his hands over the ones around his hips and rolls to the music, glitter around his eyes and dressed in this _almost_ crop top that Mark has fantasised about ripping off too many times tonight. He turns to the bartender and asks, “Can I please have two vodka shots?” 

He hadn’t been planning to get smashed tonight. There was, maybe, just a bit of hope that Jaemin was right and he’d end up going home with Donghyuck, but that was immediately quashed when they’d caught Line 2 to Hongdae and Donghyuck decided that discussing Jaemin’s upcoming daegeum solo was much more important than acknowledging Mark’s existence. Jeno shared a pole with Mark on the subway, and he wrapped his hand around Mark’s fist and whispered, “You okay?” 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Mark said, eyes darting to where Donghyuck was sitting next to Jaemin, animatedly talking about, huh, food? No, wait, the eggplant was a metaphor for - right, just when Mark thought Jaemin and Donghyuck finally weren’t talking about sex. Mark turned back to Jeno, who wasn’t looking at him like he’d expected but at Donghyuck and Jaemin too, this dopey half-smile on his face. “Hey, how do you feel about the whole, uh, virginity thing?” 

Jeno shrugged. “Don’t think you guys should do it if your heart, I mean _hearts_ aren’t in it. I wouldn’t want you to fuck up your friendship.”

“Our friendship,” Mark echoed, “ _Our_ friendship isn’t fucked up, is it?”

“No, hyung, it isn’t,” Jeno said, grinning. “You’re not hung up on me, are you?”

Mark quickly shook his head. “And you…?”

“No,” Jeno said, leaning in to add in Mark’s ear, “But you made it onto the list of Top 3 Dick I’ve Ever Taken _surprisingly._ You knocked out Kim Hyunjin which is saying a lot because she’s reaaaaally good with a strap-on.” He patted Mark’s shoulder. “Well done.”

It must be the residual tension from that conversation - the first time they’d ever spoken about what happened between them - or the simmering anger Mark’s feeling as he watches Donghyuck winding his arms around that guy’s neck, leaning up to kiss him, because when Mark spots Jeno making his way through the crowd, he rushes over, grabbing Jeno’s wrist. 

“Hyung?” Jeno says, sounding puzzled as Mark starts to nose at Jeno’s neck, pressing his mouth beneath Jeno’s ear. “What are you doing?”

“Let’s dance, Jeno,” Mark slurs, pulling Jeno’s hips towards him.

“You’re really drunk, hyung,” Jeno says gently, taking Mark’s hands off him and holding onto them. “C’mon, I’ll take you home. I’ll text Jaemin that we’re leaving.”

“You don’t wanna dance?” Mark says, pouting into Jeno’s hair. “Thought I was in your Top 3.”

Jeno hums, dragging Mark towards the stairwell. “You are. But you know who else is in my Top 3? My boyfriend.”

“You have a boyfriend? Who?” Mark says, muffled against Jeno’s shoulder as he follows Jeno outside. He twists back at the top of the stairs to take a final glance at the dancefloor, where Donghyuck has his tongue down his partner’s throat, the guy’s hands on Donghyuck’s ass. _Mark’s_ property. “Wait, we have to get Donghyuck.”

“He’s fine,” Jeno says, shooting Jaemin a text with his free hand.

“No, that guy he’s with looks like bad news,” Mark argues. He tries to stay firm but Jeno tugs harder, and he stumbles out of the entrance, feeling himself shiver at the cool November air. “He could get hurt!”

“He can take care of himself,” Jeno assures Mark, hailing them a taxi. “It’s not your place, hyung. Jaemin’s around and he won’t let Hyuck go home with someone dodgy.”

Mark leans his head against Jeno’s shoulder as they pile into the backseat of a taxi, Jeno telling the driver to take them to the SNU dorms. He lets out a quiet sob, “Just don’t want him to sleep with anyone but me.” 

“I know, hyung,” Jeno says, stroking Mark’s hair. “I know.”

 

 

 

Mark woke up with a hangover the day his parents announced they were moving back to Canada. The hangover was because he’d gone to Donghyuck’s 18th the night before and gotten so wasted he pulled off his shirt and gave the birthday boy a lap dance. The moving back was because, after eight years, his father was being given a promotion at his company’s Vancouver branch. And the crying - well, that was a combination of both.

“We’ll give you some time to think about it,” his mother had said gently as Mark sobbed into his jook, “We know you applied to some schools here, and though we’d love for you to come home with us, you’ll do well continuing your studies in Korea. And maybe,” she shared a look with her husband, “You should talk to Donghyuck before you make a decision.”

“You should do whatever makes you happy,” Donghyuck had said a couple days later. He shrugged. “Skype exists, hey?” And Mark might’ve taken this response more seriously if Donghyuck hadn’t cried even harder than him and then given Mark the silent treatment for 48 hours for even _considering_ moving to Canada. 

So Mark stayed. He’d have been crazy not to, is what people would say, after being accepted into a SKY university. But they don’t know that he only got his acceptance letter two days before his parents flew to Vancouver, and what really kept him in Seoul was the look on Donghyuck’s face as Mark had ground his hips down against him and whispered “Happy birthday, baby,” in his ear, and Donghyuck’s puffy mouth and apple red cheeks as he wept over Mark with the kind of passion one would expect from a grieving widow, and his list of 50 Reasons Why You Should Stay In Korea (and no, it was actually very thoughtful and not just Donghyuck’s name 50 times in a row like Mark expected). 

Did Mark really have a choice?

 

 

 

Mark wakes up with barely a hangover but a freight train of heartache, like he’d lost something dear to him, which was ridiculous because Donghyuck’s virginity was never his. _Donghyuck_ was never his. He just has to accept that. He fucked up his only chance, that one arrow he was given. 

He didn’t just miss bullseye. He didn’t even hit the target.

At times like these, Mark wants to call his mom. But what would he say? Donghyuck asked me to have sex with him, and I was about to but Fate was against us, and then I told him to go screw someone else and he did. Oh, also, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him?

Huh.

Mark rolls that over his tongue.

In love.

He’s in love with Lee Donghyuck.

 _I know you are, darling_ , his mom replies in his mind, _you always have been_. She simultaneously sounds like Jaemin which is way too Freudian for Mark’s 9AM hangover brain to comprehend. 

“Stop mumbling to yourself,” Jungwoo groans from his bed. “We get it, you’re in love with Lee Donghyuck. Go tell him, you’re making your bed squeak with all that hesitating.”

Mark makes to sit up one last time before he flops back onto his mattress. “No, I can’t. It’s over, he doesn’t want me anymore.”

“Thank God,” Jungwoo says through a yawn, “Because I was about to say ‘you could be making the bed squeak in a good way’ and I was scared you’d actually listen to me.”

“You were gonna let me and Donghyuck have sex here the other day,” Mark grumbles, reaching out for his phone as he rubs his eye roughly. One missed call from Jaemin and two KKT messages, one from Jeno ( _sleep well hyung! TAT_ ) and the other from Donghyuck ( _breakfast club cancelled_ ).

“One-time offer,” Jungwoo says.

“Way to rub it in,” Mark murmurs. He slides out from underneath his quilt, dropping his feet into the dinosaur slippers that were a birthday gift from Jeno last year. 

Thinking about Jeno makes Mark’s insides shrivel up. Did he really try to hook up with him again last night? Force Jeno to have to let him down easy? Does Jeno _really_ have a boyfriend or did he make that up just so Mark would leave him alone? Is there a Hallmark card for this situation? 

Mark shakes his head, tugging on a hoodie. He’ll deal with Jeno later, but for now, “I’m going out,” he tells Jungwoo.

The cafeteria downstairs is dead even for a Saturday morning. Mark spots Donghyuck easily. He hadn’t even made an attempt to pretend he wasn’t here, slumped in the corner, more food than he should be allowed to have spread out across the table like a feast.

“You’re not welcome here, Mark Lee,” Donghyuck snaps, as Mark approaches him. “This is a date with only four people: me, myself and I, and God, who is also me, just so you know.”

Mark plonks himself down across from Donghyuck. “I can sit wherever I want to and I choose to sit here.”

Donghyuck ignores him, turning up his nose and busying himself with - Mark tries to read the Hangeul upside-down - his Kakao chat with Jaemin. He doesn’t exactly know why Donghyuck is mad at him, aside from the whole I-told-him-to-find-someone-else-to-take-his-virginity thing, but that wouldn’t be the first time. Donghyuck will spill soon enough, a bit of prodding from Mark and he’ll unfurl, like a little hedgehog. 

They sit in silence for a while, Mark periodically stealing ddeokbokki from Donghyuck’s bowl and eyeing Donghyuck’s neck for anything that might tell him what he wants to know. 

He tries to ask casually, he really does. But it bursts out of Mark, wobbly and shrill and way too desperate: “So, did you lose your V-card?”

Donghyuck shifts in his seat, eyes darting up from his phone before his jaw sets and he looks back down. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t,” he answers airily.

Mark frowns, something ugly twisting in his chest. “Well,” he says, glad Donghyuck isn't looking at him otherwise he’d see that Mark is currently in the midst of a crisis, his eyes starting to tear up in classic Hangover Mark fashion. “Congrats if you did.”

The silence persists. Mark reins in his tear ducts only to have to subdue his hardening cock a minute later, as he starts to (unwillingly) imagine Donghyuck being fucked for the first time last night, the pretty, overwhelmed sounds he must’ve made.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Donghyuck asks, and Mark feels himself snap back to their cafeteria table like a rubber band. Holy shit, he’d been fantasising about Donghyuck, _in front_ of Donghyuck. Is there no end to his immorality? Could Donghyuck tell? Did he see Mark’s boner? Is he going to - “What does Jeno have that I don’t?” 

Mark blinks groggily. “What?”

“You went home with Jeno,” Donghyuck says, going over each syllable slowly like he’s trying to study Mark’s reaction, see if what he’s saying is actually true so he can decide whether to stay mad or not. “But you didn’t want to sleep with me.”

Unbeknownst to Donghyuck, Mark’s hands have started to shake underneath the table, his chest going hot all over. He keeps his face blank. “How did you find out about that? Did Jeno tell you?”

“So, you don’t deny it,” Donghyuck scoffs, a disbelieving smile on his face. He grabs his phone again, opening up to Jaemin’s chat again.

Mark watches Donghyuck type, rubbing furiously at a tear that trickles down his cheek. He crosses his arms over his chest defensively at that, not letting himself soften at the sight of Donghyuck crying. “I don’t get why you’re so mad,” Mark says, “I didn’t think it would be _that_ big a deal. You said you make out with Jaemin all the time, am I not allowed to hook up with Jeno?”

Donghyuck narrows his eyes at Mark. “Jaemin and Jeno are _dating_ , you fucking dick.”

“ _What_?” 

“Why don’t you go ask Jeno about it since you two are so fucking cozy,” Donghyuck spits out, “Leave me alone.”

“What the hell?” Mark didn’t come here to get mad but _God_ , if Donghyuck doesn’t have a way of getting under his skin. “Maybe I will,” Mark retorts, his chair screeching as he stands up. “God knows he was a better time than you’re being right now.”

“Fuck you, Mark Lee!” Donghyuck shouts as Mark stalks out of the cafeteria, “And you know what, thanks for not fucking me, hope Jeno enjoys your 5 centimetres!”

Mark throws up the middle finger without even turning back.

 

 

 

Mark and Donghyuck’s friendship has weathered a thousand storms over the years but the biggest of all was the one that hit Kim Yerim’s house, the night of March the 5th 2013. That morning, Yerim slipped Mark a sleek pink invitation to her birthday party in homeroom and Mark had whirled around, certain she’d mistaken his desk for someone else’s, but she turned back and winked her confirmation at him. He kept it a secret from Donghyuck because, firstly, he was tired of Donghyuck teasing him about his crush on Yerim and, secondly, there was no way Yerim invited Donghyuck to her party, and Mark didn’t want Donghyuck to feel bad about that.

Mark was, as usual, wrong.

He turned up to Yerim’s house to see Donghyuck perched on the arm of a couch, wearing Mark’s baseball cap and captivating an audience (half the baseball team, Jaehyun with one of Yerim’s baby sisters sitting on his lap, Kim Jiwoo, and Yerim’s scary-hot cousin Joohyun who occasionally picks her up from school) with the story of how he was almost recruited by SM but told them his face was such a money maker they’d be forced to drop all their other idols. He spots Mark slinking in and trying his best to disappear into his regrettably neon green hoodie, and cups a hand around his impish smirk, calling out, “Surprise, bitch!” 

Mark doesn’t get a chance to reply over the racket of laughter (mainly from his team, _mainly_ mainly from Jaehyun whom Mark sends a wounded glare) even if he wanted to. He doesn’t even get a chance to go over to Donghyuck and whack his arm because Yerim materialises out of nowhere and strong-arms Mark into the kitchen. 

“You have to do something for me,” Yerim whispers, pulling Mark into a corner where he catches himself from tripping over a large earthen pot. Squatting next to it are Liu Yangyang, third baseman, and another one of Yerim’s sisters, pilfering bits of freshly made kimchi. Yerim shoos them away before fixing Mark a look, “Do you know what Spin the Bottle is?”

“Yeah?” Mark says suspiciously, “Why?”

“I want to do it,” Yerim imparts, with a death grip around Mark’s arm, “I want Jaehyun oppa to be my first kiss. And you’re going to make it happen.”

Yangyang pops up from the other side of the counter, Yerim’s sister around his shoulders like a backpack. “So does the entire school, including me and Lee Mark,” he declares sagely.

“Fuck off, Yangyang,” Yerim says, at the same time Mark retorts, “Bro, I don’t want to kiss Jaehyun!” 

“Look,” Yerim deflects, turning away from Yangyang who’s now started to spin in circles, her sister’s peals of laughter sound like they’re passing through a wind chime. “All I’m asking is that you bring up this cool game you learnt in Canada and manipulate the bottle into landing on Jaehyun when it’s my turn. Got it?”

“Why should I do that?” Mark tries, hand shooting out to grab a glass of Pepsi Yangyang nearly knocks over.

Yerim flutters her fingers underneath her chin, sly as she says, “It’s my birthday. Plus, after I’ve had my way with Jaehyun oppa, you can kiss him all you want.” 

Mark pales.

 

 

 

Yerim doesn’t get to kiss Jaehyun. Mark doesn’t get to kiss Jaehyun. Yerim’s first kiss is Liu Yangyang and it involves a lot of saliva and a threat on Mark’s life and the gentle slope of Jaehyun’s shoulders in his duffle coat as he exits Yerim’s bedroom to go home after his “dad” “calls him” (“Why’d you put dad in quotation marks?” Mark asks Yerim when she complains about it later. She says nothing. “Dude, you’re freaking me out. Does Jaehyun not have a dad? Is he like Jesus?”). But he leaves a perfectly wrapped present on top of Yerim’s dressing table and pats her head as he goes, so she can’t even be too mad when the bottle inevitably lands on Yangyang, who’d been sitting next to Jaehyun.

Where things go real awry is when Mark leans over to give the bottle another swirl and it lands on Donghyuck, and again, and it lands on himself. Mark’s gaze whips up and Donghyuck isn’t grinning like Mark expected him to be. His eyes are stuck on Mark’s face, but they’re unseeing, dazed, and his mouth is parted slightly, small and pink. A mouth Mark is meant to kiss in the next ten seconds. 

A mouth that says nothing when Mark’s suddenly rising to his feet, muttering, “Excuse me, I have to go, happy birthday, Yerim,” and leaving the room. He glances back when he reaches the doorframe, bypassing the startled expressions to where Donghyuck had his arms wrapped around his knees, a stormcloud brewing in his eyes. 

Mark had thought about kissing him. And the problem was that he _wanted_ to, so instead he turned away and shut the door behind him.

 

 

 

“What happened next?” Renjun asks, teeth tearing through a fried drumstick. They’re sitting on a bench overlooking the campus stadium, backdropped by the jagged outline of Gwanaksan.

“We didn’t speak for a couple weeks,” Mark says, wiping his greasy fingertips on the knees of his sweatpants. Down below, if he squints, he can make out Jeno jogging around the track, eyes laser focused. He’s been doing that ever since Mark and Renjun got here half an hour ago. “Well, I tried but Hyuck holds a mean grudge. Hey, should we check on Jeno?”

Renjun hums, dumping their finished bones into the delivery box and closing it up. “I don’t think I want to yet,” he says, “I’m trying to stay impartial but even cheating’s hard to forgive. You really didn’t know?”

Mark shakes his head, staring down at Jeno, the metaphorical scarlet C stuck to the back of his sweat-soaked tank top. Though he’d aided and abetted the crime, Mark’s road to forgiveness is significantly less treacherous than Jeno’s simply because he had no idea that he was doing anything wrong. But still, it’s been a week since he and Donghyuck’s argument in the cafeteria. Both Donghyuck and Jaemin’s forces combined, it’s the meanest grudge of all time. “What’s shocking to me is that Jaemin and Jeno managed to keep their relationship a secret this long,” Mark says mildly. When’d he and Jeno hook up? Just before Christmas break last year? That was nearly a year ago.

Renjun laughs at that. “I know, I’d have given them three days tops to be able to keep it in their pants in front of us. Okay, back to middle school. How’d you and Donghyuck make up?”

An hour ago, Renjun texted Mark: _need a break from jaem!!! meet me @ grounds in fifteen. we’re coming up with a game plan._ After his dorm room was burnt down, Jaemin had been sleeping on Jeno and Donghyuck’s floor (though Mark now knows he’d actually been sharing Jeno’s bed), but he relocated to Renjun’s last week (“I kinda miss the crying,” Renjun bemoans as he slumps against the bench next to Mark, “Now all he does is stalk yours and Jeno’s Instagrams and provide us with petty commentary. I’m not going to tell you what he said about your TikTok videos, but it was _awful_.” Not that Mark was going to ask, turned off by Renjun’s oddly proud expression as he recalls this.) Their game plan, it seems, involves looking back on how Mark has resolved all of his fights with Donghyuck. 

“I went by Donghyuck’s apartment after school one day, one of his siblings let me in, and I brought him bungeoppang and basically sat on his bed and talked to him about shit until he replied to me,” Mark explains. He rubs his nose, smiling a little. “He said it was weird I ate the head of the fish first because he always goes for the tail. Anyway, it turned out he felt embarrassed and ashamed that I didn’t kiss him. He thought I heard the rumours about him liking boys and found him repulsive.”

Renjun makes a sympathetic noise, feet planted on the bench, cheek pillowed against his kneecaps. “Poor baby Donghyuckkie.” He then knocks the side of his hand against Mark’s neck. “If you tell him I said that, I’ll kill you.”

“I’ll gladly take death,” Mark teases, “That was so cute.”

Renjun pretends to saw the base of Mark’s throat. “What did you say to him?”

“I didn’t know I was bisexual then but I told him that I hadn’t even heard what people were saying about him and it didn’t matter because I was cool with it,” Mark says, “Said that I was sorry for not kissing him but if he needed me to I would.”

“Did he ask?” 

Jeno’s stopped running now, bent over with his hands on his knees, cold air wracking through his lungs. His eyes are squeezed shut. “No, he didn’t,” Mark says.

 

 

 

Although Donghyuck would like to believe it had, the world doesn’t stop spinning just because he and Mark and Jeno and Jaemin aren’t talking. Mark practically lives up at Engineering in the days leading to finals, floating from lab to lab until sundown, and by Friday he manages to drag himself down to the library to take a nap, head cradled inside the hood of his baby pink padding. He’s exchanged texts with Renjun mostly ( _i think jaemin’s trying to make sicheng his rebound, it’s not working but i still wanna strangle him pls help_ ) and Jeno ( _dunno if i should say this but i miss you hyung TAT we should talk?_ ) and to Donghyuck in their now defunct group chat, once, ( _hyuck did i just see u at the engineering cafeteria??? i tried to look for apple pie for u but they don’t sell it here sry ㅠㅠ_ to which Jaemin replied _@ hyuck, yeah bc [redacted] was trying to cover for the scented candles_ ). But otherwise, Jaemin’s daegeum recital tonight is the first time in a while Mark is going to see his friends in person. 

Technically, or rather, ethically he isn’t meant to be attending (from Jaemin, forwarded by Renjun: _Security has your names and faces. If you show up you will be expelled (ง'̀-'́)ง_ ) but contrary to Jaemin’s threats, there’s no security at the College of Music and the Fall recitals are open house, and _morally_ , as Jaemin’s best friend, Mark wouldn’t miss it for the world.

After his power nap, Mark ventures out into the cold, nerves finally kicking in at the thought of seeing Jaemin and Donghyuck. He huffs into his face mask. Mainly Donghyuck, who was Mark kidding? The glimpse he’d seen in the cafeteria has tormented him through every class, every waking moment he wasn’t deep in Thermodynamics or Jet Propulsion material. He’d dyed his hair a light brown, skin like golden syrup even under the weak wintery light streaming in through the windows. Sex hadn’t changed Lee Donghyuck, but Mark realising he was in love with him? It gave him a _halo_.

And so maybe Mark’s romanticising Donghyuck a little. As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow #whipped. Forgotten and forgiven are all the late nights Mark has spent trailing after a drunk Donghyuck, patting his head as he pukes on the side of the street (onto Mark’s shoes), all the inconveniences he’s faced due to Donghyuck’s insane demands, including but not limited to being drenched in gutter water and literally walking into a lion’s den (okay, it was a cat shelter because Donghyuck wanted to surprise Jeno with a kitten for his birthday but Mark left needing stitches.) 

Now Mark feels nothing but butterflies as he slips into the back row of the auditorium and spots Donghyuck standing near the front, in a neat green sweater and slacks, smiling radiantly as he chats to Jaemin’s parents. 

He sinks as far as he can into his jacket as the lights dim and Jaemin is announced. As much as Mark wants to go down there and sit beside Donghyuck (and… hold… his hand…) he’s not going to risk a public dispute or worse, distracting Jaemin from his performance. 

Jaemin enters stage. He looks serene, in peach-coloured hanbok and a large gat that covers his brown hair but sharpens his face. 

He positions his daegeum, and begins to play.

Midway through the performance, exhausted as he is, Mark’s eyes begin to wander. There are only a few people in the last row with him, and propped up against the wall is another guy who’d been cloaked in a black hoodie and black jacket. But the hood’s fallen away now to reveal Lee Jeno’s face, and it is, if Mark had to describe it, utterly awestruck. Mark tries to invoke Jeno’s sixth sense by staring at him but Jeno’s gaze is glued on Jaemin, the row of nails on his right hand resting on top of his teeth. Mark looks down at the top of Donghyuck’s head, fluffy as a bunny’s behind, and he gets it. 

After the recital, Mark contemplates congratulating Jaemin but a hand grabbing his arm at the top of the stairs makes his decision for him. “Hey, Mark hyung,” Jeno’s saying quietly, face turned away from the stage where Jaemin’s changed out of his traditional garb and is kissing his mother on the cheek. “You made it.”

“Of course,” Mark says, “Does he know you’re here?”

Jeno shakes his head, and it’s then Mark notices the unshed tears in the corners of Jeno’s eyes. He wraps his arms around Jeno’s upper body, uncaring if Jaemin or Donghyuck clocks them like this (although he doesn’t dare look back, afraid he might turn to stone), and manoeuvres them out of the door.

“Do you wanna get a drink, Jeno?” Mark asks softly.

Jeno sniffs, and the way his eyes curve into a smile makes those tears squeeze out. Mark reaches up to wipe them away with his sleeve. “I’d like that, hyung,” he says.

 

 

 

“So I told him, ‘I didn’t think you cared that much?’,” Jeno’s slurring, zealously punctuating the last word with his soju bottle against the table. Mark stretches over the table to coax it out of his hands so he doesn’t break another one. He’d like to say the only way he smoothed over Jeno’s last outburst was because he offered to sweep up the glass himself and the owner thought him sensible, but really it was Jeno’s, “Pwease don’t kick us out, bbuing bbuing,” and Mark doesn’t think that’ll work a second time, maybe. “And he got this _look_. This stupid smirk. And he was like ‘woooooow, so that’s what you think of me? Am I just a slut who doesn’t deserve respect?’ What the fuck does that mean?”

Mark doesn’t think this Jeno would appreciate him being straightforward ( _well, you did apparently cheat on him and screw us all over_ ) so he says nothing, sliding a glass of water towards Jeno’s hand. 

“So he’s allowed to call himself a slut for having loaaaaads of sex before we ever dated,” Jeno continues, after gulping down all the water because even wasted, Jeno has an innate talent for self care. “But suddenly I did him wrong by fucking _you_ a million years ago?”

The world didn’t stop spinning this past week, but it does, just then. Mark stares at Jeno, who’s started pouring himself another glass of water, filling it to the brim so he can lap at the surface like a housecat. “Wait. Are you telling me you weren’t dating Jaemin when we hooked up?”

Jeno pauses sipping, eyes looking up at Mark, big and reproachful. “Who do you think I am? Who do you think Jaemin is? Do you really think we could’ve kept our relationship a secret that long? We only started dating like, right before the fire.”

“Right,” Mark says, some kind of Matrix shit happening in his brain right now, “That’s what Renjun said. That makes sense, of course you haven’t been dating since last year.”

“Uh huh,” Jeno says slowly.

“But then why does Jaemin think you cheated on him?”

Jeno sits up, somehow balancing cross-legged on his chair, face dropping into a pout. “Jaemin thinks I cheated on him?”

“So he must think we had sex sometime in the past few weeks,” Mark concludes, fingers tapping against the side of Jeno’s soju bottle. “What would give him that impression?”

Jeno shrugs, holding his hands up. 

Mark rolls his eyes but reaches out to pull on Jeno’s cheek. “You’re no help, kitty, you’re so drunk,” he says, “Okay, this all started when Donghyuck and I had that argument in the cafeteria. That was after we went clubbing in Hongdae, right?”

“You had an argument?” Jeno asks.

“Yeah, he said he couldn’t believe I’d sleep with you but not him,” Mark says, “No offence, on his behalf. You’re great.”

“No one thinks so,” Jeno mumbles, pulling on the strings of his hoodie.

“We’ll figure this out, Jeno,” Mark reassures him. He thinks for a moment. “But the thing is how did he know that we slept together? Did you tell him?”

“No?” Jeno says, through the mouth-sized gap in his hood. “I never told anyone. Did you?”

“No,” Mark says. He stands up quickly, grabbing Jeno’s hand and pulling him up. “But I think we have enough to clear your name. You didn’t cheat on Jaemin, so let’s go find him.” Jeno stumbles after Mark, squawking about how he can’t see anything and he doesn’t want to go to Jaemin because he hates him, and Mark just shoots him down with, “Good, keep your hood up so you won’t have to see his face when he apologises to you.”

“Then how will we make out?” comes Jeno’s sad response, muffled against Mark’s shoulder.

 

 

 

Mark texts the group chat: _EMERGENCY!!!!!!! EVERYONE PUT ASIDE UR DIFFERENCES FOR THE MOMENT AND MEET IN RENJUN’S ROOM ASAP. HE’S IN TROUBLE._ It’s the dirtiest tactic of all time, at least where Jaemin is concerned. Meanwhile, as Mark and Jeno are waiting behind the wall near Renjun’s dorm room to jump out when Jaemin and Donghyuck arrive, they can hear Donghyuck’s voice echo down the hall, “Is he really in trouble? Like, if he was really _really_ in trouble Mark would take him to the ER or something, right? Wait, nah, he’s a dumbass. But why do I care? Do I look like I’m friends with Huang Renjun?”

Jaemin just sobs a little, seemingly dragging Donghyuck along by the sound of sneakers squeaking against linoleum suddenly. 

When they turn into the corridor, Mark tugs on Jeno, who’d fallen into a light slumber on his back, and fakes a distraught face. “Guys, I’m so glad you’re here. Renjun called me and he sounded sooooo sick, I think he might have rabies.”

“Rabies?” Jaemin repeats, eyes widening with worry. If they listen carefully, they can hear noises of distress coming from the other side of the door. Wow, Mark truly owes Renjun a box of fried chicken for going along with this.

“Nanaaaa,” Jeno moans, detaching himself from Mark and teetering towards Jaemin with his arms out, before flopping against his side.

“Hey, babe,” Jaemin mutters, absentmindedly threading his fingers through Jeno’s hair, “You’re drunk? Did Mark not take care of you well?”

“He did,” Jeno sighs. 

Jaemin’s face falls. Mark awkwardly clears his throat. 

Donghyuck pushes between them, loudly announcing, “Alright team, Renjun’s dying and apparently we don’t want that, so let’s move!” Without knocking, he throws open Renjun’s door and -

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Donghyuck and Renjun both scream at the same time.

Sicheng pulls off Renjun’s cock, mouth wet and shiny, and gives them all a wave.

 

 

 

“No, I didn’t see your message, Mark,” Renjun deadpans, sitting on the edge of Sicheng’s bed with his head in his hands. His dick’s been tucked back into his pants, pitifully wilting at the sight of his friends bursting into his room, and Sicheng had wordlessly grabbed his phone and bailed immediately. “I was _busy_ , clearly.”

Mark, Jaemin, Jeno and Donghyuck are all seated on Renjun’s bed, like pigeons on a windowsill. Jeno is halfway on top of Jaemin’s lap, pecking at Jaemin’s fingertips and blissfully unaware of the spiked tension in the room. 

“It was the only way I could get Jaemin and Donghyuck to meet us,” Mark says apologetically, ignoring Jaemin’s scoff next to him. “I didn’t know where Jaemin was so I didn’t want to chance going straight to Donghyuck’s room.”

“And why _are_ we here?” Donghyuck speaks up, leaning forward to raise an eyebrow at Mark. 

“Jeno didn’t cheat on Jaemin,” Mark announces.

Around Jaemin’s fingers, Jeno says, “Yeah!”

“But you confirmed it,” Jaemin says, looking at Mark with barely contained astonishment. “When Donghyuck saw Jeno take you home after Hongdae? We didn’t automatically assume you guys left to have sex but Donghyuck said you confirmed it the next day.”

Mark frowns. “After Hongdae? I didn’t know Donghyuck was referring to that, I didn’t even know he saw us.”

Jeno pulls Jaemin’s hand out of his mouth to contribute, “Mark hyung and I hooked up forever ago. Like last year. That’s what we both thought you were all talking about.”

“What?!”

“You slept with my backup best friend last _year_?!”

“Holy shit, I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“So, we probably should’ve talked this out,” Mark says, a little sheepish as he scratches his jaw. It’s itchy underneath Renjun’s laser glare. “It was after we got drunk with those exchange students at Cass Town last year. Didn’t really mean much so we never talked about it again.”

“Cass Town?” Jaemin echoes. His face lights up and he pokes Mark in the shoulder, “Oh! That’s when I hooked up with Guanheng for the first time. Man, I miss that guy.”

“Wasn’t I in the room?” Donghyuck splutters.

“You were asleep and you didn’t wake up for 12 hours,” Jaemin says, shrugging.

“Now the truth has come out, can you all leave?” Renjun says, “Can you even _comprehend_ the struggle I went through to get into Sicheng’s pants? No because you’ve all fucked each other. Congrats. Get out.”

“Huh,” Jaemin breathes as they bundle out of the room, “That’s kinda hot now that I think about it. Do you want to have a threesome, Mark?”

The door slams loudly behind them.

“Does that mean we’re back together, Nana?” Jeno mutters, “Can we make out now? Mark hyung promised.”

“Oh ho ho,” Jaemin says, “Mark’s in charge of our relationship now, is he?” He grabs Jeno, twisting back to narrow his eyes at Mark. “Threesome offer revoked.”

“Wasn’t gonna accept anyway, I’ve had enough of you two,” Mark retorts. He turns around to speak to Donghyuck, offer to take him to the benches outside so they can finally clear their own shit up, but Donghyuck’s already gone.

 

 

 

Their first night at Seoul National University, with Donghyuck feeling homesick and panicking about choosing his Traditional Music major over Business, he and Mark created a tradition. Come rain or shine, if one of them was feeling down they’d text the other _coin noraebang?_ and they’d meet at SNU Station to eat potato hot dogs and make their way through as much of the Billboard Hot 100 from 2010 as they could, Mark rapping and Donghyuck on vocals. Donghyuck, of course, liked to abuse this power and eventually Mark took to keeping a jar of coins labelled _For Lee Donghyuck, 21st Century Gisaeng <3_ on his bedside table.

Mark grabs a few coins now and heads outside. He throws one of them at what he thinks is Donghyuck’s window but is actually their RA Kim Doyoung’s, and after Mark manages to convince Doyoung not to murder him and then jump out of the window himself, he tries again, and luckily Donghyuck’s sleepy face appears.

Donghyuck opens the window, and before he can say anything, Mark starts to strum Jeno’s pink ukulele. “ _Oh, Donghyuuuuuuck, I’m feeling saaaaaaad,_ ” Mark sings, “ _I wanted to talk to you after we got Jaemin and Jeno back together but you ran away which made me feel baaaaad._ ”

“I didn’t run away,” Donghyuck scoffs, “I had places to be. The world doesn’t revolve around you, Canada.”

“ _Oh, Donghyuuuuuck,_ ” Mark continues, warily eyeing Doyoung’s window, “ _Come with me to noraebaaaaang. I’ve got the coins, all I need is your beautiful vooooooice. Donghyuuuuuck, I shouldn’t have told you to find someone eeeeelse. I don’t care if I wasn’t the one to deflower you because I’m in love with you and I’d fuck dat ass anydaaaaaay._ ”

“You would?” Donghyuck asks bashfully, and Mark can see his blush two stories down. 

Mark grins up at him. “Yeah.”

 

 

 

They only get through B.O.B’s _Airplanes_ and Far East Movement’s _Rocketeer_ before Donghyuck pushes Mark down onto the leather bench, cups his face and kisses him on the mouth. He pulls away after a few minutes, and his husky, “Love motel?” nearly sets Mark’s dick on fire. 

“I only had two coins anyway,” Mark giggles nervously, letting Donghyuck haul him to his feet and out the door. “Maybe _love motel?_ can be our new _coin noraebang?_ ”

“You wish,” Donghyuck replies, but the way he tucks Mark’s hand into the back pocket of his jeans says otherwise. 

They walk through the back streets to the closest motel in relative silence until a scarily familiar voice stops them in their tracks. “Mark? Donghyuck?”

They turn around, and there, bathed in the neon pink light of the love motel above them, in all his 5’11 windswept hair and North Face coat perfection, is Jung Jaehyun. 

“Wow, long time no see?” Jaehyun says, flashing his dimple even as Mark and Donghyuck don’t return the smile, their jaws dropped. “You guys go to SNU, right?”

Mark snaps out of it quicker than Donghyuck, nodding his head. “Yeah, we do. What about you?”

“Yonsei, studying Literature,” Jaehyun says amiably, “I’m just heading to your dorms to visit my boyfriend, Doyoung.”

“Boyfriend? Doyoung?” Mark repeats.

“You might know him,” Jaehyun says, “He’s an RA. Hey, I better get going, he’s in a rather grumpy mood tonight.” He glances up at the subtle but undeniable in its tackiness exterior of the love motel, and his grin widens at them. “Have fun, you two.”

Mark turns to Donghyuck as Jaehyun casually strolls down the street, almost bursting into laughter at Donghyuck’s bright red cheeks. “I can’t believe that just happened. You were awfully quiet,” he teases. 

“I was in _shock_ ,” Donghyuck hisses. He links his arm around Mark’s, frog-marching him towards the entrance. “I think that was a good omen though? That had to have been a blessing from Cupid, right? Jung _fucking_ Jaehyun?” 

“Jung fucking Jaehyun indeed,” Mark says. 

Donghyuck hangs back as Mark goes up to the reception and rents a room for the night, hands shaky as he hands over his card. Like their walk there, they go up to the room without a word but once they’re inside Donghyuck pulls Mark in for another kiss, pushing off their jackets and tongue feeling out Mark’s teeth like he wants to memorise the shape of each one. 

Mark toes off his sneakers, manoeuvring them over to the bed with his mouth still attached to Donghyuck’s, and drops Donghyuck down onto his back. He pulls out of the kiss to knock Donghyuck’s legs apart and reaches down to untie Donghyuck’s shoelaces, gingerly removing each shoe. Donghyuck watches him, and when Mark finally looks up, his eyes are soft. “Hyung,” Donghyuck says.

“Yeah?”

“I didn’t lose my virginity,” he reveals.

Oh. _Oh_. Mark feels as though the wind’s been knocked out of his lungs. “But…? That guy at the club?” 

Donghyuck cocks his head. “How could I bang him when I thought you went home with Jeno? I’m pretty sure I went mad with jealousy that night.”

“A-and you still want me to be your first time?” Mark says, suddenly hyperaware of his hand on the inside of Donghyuck’s thigh. He removes it hurriedly.

Donghyuck leans down, anchoring his palm around the side of Mark’s face. His breath is sweet and humid as it mingles with Mark’s. “Don’t you get it, hyung?” he whispers, “It’s always been you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you, dumbass,” Donghyuck laughs, flicking a finger against Mark’s cheekbone, “I asked you to take my virginity not because it was convenient or I wanted to get it over with. I asked _you_ because I’ve been in love with you forever and I’m a fucking romantic.”

Mark gulps, throat dry as anything. “What if - what if I didn’t love you back? Wouldn’t it hurt?”

Donghyuck sighs, a small smile playing on his lips. “A price I decided I’d be willing to pay for your dick. That’s pretty pathetic, huh? I mean, _your_ dick? A dick I now know has been inside Lee Jeno’s a--”

Mark crawls up Donghyuck’s body, manhandling him onto his lap with such speed Donghyuck practically shrieks. 

He glares down at Mark, folding his arms across his chest. “Like I said _last time_ , don’t get cocky, Mark Lee.”

Mark’s fingers trail up and down Donghyuck’s sides before settling around his hips and he grinds him down against his cock, making Donghyuck’s breath catch in his throat. “Why shouldn’t I when you just told me you came up with the most convoluted plan just to get in my pants when you could’ve just confessed? Aren’t you practically begging for it, Hyuckkie?”

Donghyuck closes his eyes, shaking his head as Mark squeezes his palms around Donghyuck’s ass, pushing up into him. “I’m not,” he says, voice weak and already so _so_ wrecked. _God_ , Mark’s glad he paid for the whole night. Despite his dramatised resistance, Donghyuck reaches down to cup Mark through his jeans, almost inquisitive in the way he feels up Mark’s rapidly hardening cock. “Should we finish what we started last time, hyung?” he asks shyly. 

Mark thinks back to their first attempt, when he told Donghyuck he’d like to see him on his knees. He shakes his head, slowly lowering Donghyuck onto his back again. “We can do that later, baby,” he says, fingertips pinching the zipper of Donghyuck’s jeans, “I want to take care of you right now.”

And Donghyuck has no objections to that. 

Ten minutes later, Mark emerges from between Donghyuck’s bruise-littered thighs, mouth wet with saliva and motel-provided lube that was terrifyingly unlabelled and came out pink. His fingers are still rocking into Donghyuck, stretching him open as he says, “Hey, I love you, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck does a cross over his chest, holding his hands up to the ceiling in prayer. “Dear 13 year old Donghyuck, I am so sorry for falling in love with this loser. Please forgive me,” he says, “Amen.”

Mark rolls his eyes, diving back in and shutting Donghyuck right up.

 

 

 

 

If someone (Jaemin) were to ask Mark what the craziest thing he’s ever done for Donghyuck was (“Oh my God, please never let me walk in on you like that again. I get Donghyuck’s inexperienced but you, Mark hyung, have _no_ excuse for not tying a sock around your doorknob. And what the hell? Didn’t I tell you Donghyuck wanted to be tied up? Why are _you_ tied to my poor innocent boyfriend’s bed? Do you like to be controlled, hyung? Is Hyuck edging you? Okay, I need to shut up, I’m getting kinda turned on.”) there’d be no talk of cucumbers in salads or skateboards down hills.

It would be all of it. It’d be this story, and everything that came before and everything that came after: love, marriage and a baby in a baby carriage.

**Author's Note:**

> and there you have it... this wasn't meant to be so long but i had to resolve the markno one night stand bc it made me sad and it ended up being a whole ass subplot and STILL they stayed barely platonic! i gave up and accepted they formed a special bond that night T__T
> 
> nomin backstory for anyone interseted: [part 1](https://curiouscat.me/millennium/post/958418513) / [part 2](https://curiouscat.me/millennium/post/964243665)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/nohyuck) / [cc](https://curiouscat.me/millennium) 🍒💣


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